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Biking out at Phil’s, I blast out of the turns and pump my arms and legs through the dips. My legs are rubbery and my lungs are wheezing — not enough blood cells for this altitude.

Point and shoot — pump and pedal. Got to keep that momentum — to make the next climb.

They say momentum is also important in life — that you have to keep giving it your all to keep from sputtering out. So kids rush through high school and college, graduating as children still unaware of the complexities of the world and themselves. They quickly get swept off and wedged into a career.

Got to keep that momentum.

Then one day, they stop and realize how empty and hollow their lives are. They never really liked engineering or accounting or public administration. They rushed blindly through life — forgetting how to live.

Momentum is important, but so is direction. I worry about losing both.

I’ve returned to Cortez Colorado — the ratlands — where dreams go to die. I went to high school here, but have few fond memories of the place. Instead, I see my old classmates — many of them once brilliant and creative students — still working at Subway or the movie theater.

If ever there was a place for life to sputter out, this is it.

I’m here for an undetermined amount of time, to unload some stuff, visit with family and have some time to work on my resume and cover letters. So, I reluctantly sit down and agonize over every sentence, making little progress and hating having my entire being reduced to a single page of text.

As much as I boast about being a bum, I confess needing a job. It’s partly for the money, to pay back that loan and get off the Fed’s debt leash. I also need something for my brain to chew on — so it doesn’t eat me.

And finally, like all who are hard-wired after growing up on Disney movies and Saturday morning cartoons, I need a purpose. While I’m out Kerouacking off, there’s a real world out there with real problems. I can’t just stand by and watch.

Point and shoot — pump and pedal. Got to keep that momentum up — to make the next climb.



One Comment

  1. That is beautiful, and true. I guess Cortez is not that way for everyone. It is morning, and we are sitting here with our laptops. It’s off to Yuma for some more memories.

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